Here’s the skinny

… and not quite as quickly as it came, the depression is again departing. I swear that thing resembles what I would describe as “bi-polar”. Doctors say no. (Doctors say if I wouldn’t lose my meds my dog wouldn’t hide my meds in her clubhouse for two weeks, that wouldn’t happen. At least not as bad.)

Whatever.

I hate it. I wish it would leave me alone.

Oh, in case you’re wondering, the fly died.

I forgot to mention yesterday that, in spite of a very-shitty-mood-day, I took another step toward my happiness.

Per the advisement of big-muscular-hunky-guy-at-work, I picked up some Pro Performance 1850 Calorie Shake Mix during my not-so-lovely-mall-excursion. I got the Strawberry-Banana flavor because it was the only flavor that had just one jug left.

I do that often. I think that if they’re almost sold out, it must be a good thing. Probably more with my luck, it’s been sitting there for a year waiting to be sold and not being re-ordered.

Doesn’t matter, something called “Aminogen and Carbogen” plus 18-other-things -I’ve-never-heard-of-but-am-suppose-to-drink, doesn’t exactly sound appealing no matter what “flavor” is added. And, it’s expensive! 30 bucks for 4.3 pounds. Typically that would amount to only 5 servings, but I’m starting low on the intake. Hunky-guy-at-work says my body couldn’t handle that many added calories so quick. So, I figure to start out, I’m paying about $2.50 a day for a calorie shake that probably tastes like crap, not including the milk I have to add. Is that dumb?

Then there’s the bill for the yumm-o foods like waffles, pizzas, pasta, (Cheetos), and good stuff. That’s not cheap either. I’m used to buying junk. Cheap junk.

I’m contemplating the gym thing. I really should  get over my procrastination problem before I do that one. I do have a few weights at home, so no matter, I will be following a structured work-out program, too.

And vitamins. Got to have the vitamins.

Jeezo, with my NFL meal plan, my name brand calorie drink, my expensive groceries/necessities, and my hunky-guy-at-work-advisor; I feel like a designer-weight-gainer.

Huh. If I wasn’t so sensitive about the subject matter, I’d kinda like that name I just came up with.

Hope someday it looks as good as it sounds.

Since I’m not 100% ready to start this thing full-on, I’m going to give myself until September 1st to sample with it, get what I need, and be ready. Then, I will begin my goal of not just gaining 15-20 pounds, but keeping it on!

Sounds like a plan!

Next step, following the plan.

Favre Out?

I guess you could say that in a woman’s world, where weight is concerned, I’ve been fortunate most of my life. I have an awesome metabolism which allows me to eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and still my weight fits right nicely into my small frame.

However, the problem right now is that ever since that once-upon-a-time-a-couple-years-ago when I lost too much weight, I haven’t had very good luck putting it back on.

It’s not that I don’t eat, because I do. A lot. For a little girl, I can put away some food.

Well, being single and having issues with cooking recently, I have fallen into this junk food diet sort of thing where my favorite meal is Cheetos and Mt. Dew. And candy bars for dessert. I still eat ‘real food’; but just sayin, me and junk food have a serious love affair going on right now. And like most love affairs in my life, I’ve been  waiting for this one to kick my ass, too. More in a literal sense with this one, I guess. . . I’m afraid of actually growing a junk-food-ass.

Quite frankly, my body is disturbing to me right now.

So, this guy at work, this big-muscular-hunky-physically-fit guy at work, gave me some advice yesterday…

“Keep eating the junk, but add carbs. Lots of them. By junk I mean pizza kind of junk, not potato chips kind of junk. And calories”. ~ big-muscular-hunky-guy-at-work

Well, try as you might, we can add pasta and rice, etc., but you’ll never ever take away my Cheetos. And stuff.

So, I went googling for a more specific day by day “meal plan” (people freak when I say I’m on a “diet”, as did my former personal trainer who forced the words “meal plan” into my vocabulary). I searched until I came up with something close to the types of foods he told me to eat. And I found one. Almost identical. Pretty much, actually, exactly the same.

“NFL Weight Gain Meal Plan”. (It’s even called ‘meal plan’).

Awesome.

Just in time for the season.

And…I can eat waffles.

Look out boys, Favre may or not be out. But, uh, I’m in!

. . .except . . . I always wanted to be a rock star.

{sigh}