So, THIS is how we do it??

For the record, my hands are NOT in the air.

Ever since I moved into this old house was forced to start living on my own last year, I have become a horrible cook. Meaning….I don’t do it.

Ever.

What’s the point?

a) Cooking for one is boring, b) it’s very difficult to accomplish c) I’m no fan of leftovers, d) LBF cooks for me, e) Chinese restaurants give away free cookies. So, I choose f) all of the above, for excuses reasons not to cook.

Well, today I was needing a little lift and I had a few fortune cookies or eight, so I opened one. You know, hoping for a good fortune….of money, or something like that.

Oh hell no. I got this:

“If you want to know a man’s mind, ask him.”

WTF?

Now some would say that I could actually get rich if I could master this, yes.

But still, WTF?

Are fortune-cookie-writers out of their minds???? Because, uh, by my own experience, this is the worst thing I could do.

So, here’s my resolve; the fortune-cookie-writer-people left something out. Like perhaps:

“… in bed.”

Or maybe . . .

“… then stand back and wait for him to scream that you’re nosey, psycho, insecure, or any other negative word he can find to protect his thoughts.”

Probably it was . . .

“…but don’t try this at home, grasshopper.”

I mean seriously.

Oh well. The cookie was good.